MAKING IMPROVEMENTS TO OUR HABITS

IT’S HARD WORK TO CHANGE OUR HABITS

Habits are hard to change because usually many of the things we do each day kind of run on autopilot. You don’t have to put much thought or effort into your current habits, so it is much easier to do what you have been doing rather than make changes. We become used to doing things a certain way and we just continue to do that. In order to change our behaviors we have to make a continued effort for a significant amount of time to make the habit we are trying to create run on autopilot.

There is a wide range of information indicating how long it takes to make a new habit. After doing a quick google search the first information that came up indicated that it took anywhere from 18 to 254 days to form a new habit. With a range that large, it’s really hard to say how long it will take you to develop a habit you are trying to make in your life. But, regardless of how long it takes, changing habits is often hard work. So, what can we do to make changing habits a little bit easier for ourselves?

START SMALL

Yes, here we are again with starting small! It really works well in so many areas of our lives. When we try to make huge changes, we might start out strong, but then it gets too difficult to keep up with. This is why so many of us struggle with New Year’s resolutions that involve major changes to how we behave. Some of us think that the person we are on December 31st will suddenly change into an entirely new person on January 1st. Once the motivation created by the start of the new year wears off, we very often go back to our old ways.

It is much easier to make small changes rather than drastic ones. When we make small changes, it might take longer than we want to get to where we want to be. But, the changes that we make are much more likely to stick. When we try to make major changes the initial excitement about the change will wear off when we realize we can keep up with the new habit.

DO IT IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT – MOST DAYS

Building a habit requires consistency. Some days we just don’t feel like keeping up with the goals we set for ourselves. However, even if you start small, you still need to stick with those small changes. This requires a good amount of self-discipline which can be hard on really exhausting or challenging days. But, those are the most important days to try our hardest to stick to our habits.

Do the new thing whether you feel like it or not, most of the time. There may be a day that is just too draining to do anything beyond getting by. But, we really need to do everything we can to push through those days and stick to our habits as much as possible. Often skipping habits on hard days can easily break the cycle of building that habit. Each time we quit a new habit, it’s much harder to start it again. By giving up we reinforce to ourselves that we are not able to make this habit stick, so we might not want to start again.

USING A HABIT TRACKER

One way to help you with sticking to a new habit is by using some sort of habit tracker. This can be a paper on the fridge that you mark off, a spreadsheet on your computer, or an app on your phone. I have used several different habit tracker apps, but the one I always end up going back to is Strides. I use the free version which limits how many different habits you can track. But working on too many habits is overwhelming anyway so I don’t feel a need to be able to track more than a couple. In this app, you can set up habits to follow on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. For example, you can say you want to do something once a day, 4 times per week, 3 times per month, etc.

When I first started using the app, I tried to do streaks to see how long I could keep going at something. But I found that once I broke the streak, I lost my motivation because I almost felt like I messed up so what’s the point? I actually deleted the app for a period of time because I thought it wasn’t working for me anymore. Now I set up my habits using the 80 /20 rule.  So, if I am trying to do a habit most days, I will put in a goal of hitting it 25 days per month. That leaves 5 to 6 days each month to not do that habit, but still be able to have a successful month. It’s really about figuring out what works best for you.

HABIT STACKING

Another way to help with forming a new habit is by attaching it to a habit you already have. This is called habit stacking. Examples could be: After I get dressed, I take out food for dinner. While I eat lunch, I will read for 20 minutes. After the dishes are done, I will go for a short walk. Habit stacking often works well because the habit that you already have is the reminder to do the new habit.

You will more likely be consistent with your new habit because you have a designated time to make sure you do it, right after a habit that you already have. It’s unlikely that you will not do the activity that triggers the new habit because it is something you are already doing without much thought. At first, you will have to remind yourself to stack the two habits together, but very soon it will become a routine.

ATTACH SOMETHING FUN TO YOUR HABIT

Is there something fun that you love to do that you can do while working on your new habit? For example, if love listening to podcasts or audiobooks, do this while going for a nice walk. If adding a new daily cleaning habit, have a nice drink, like a favorite tea or coffee to enjoy while working on the task.

Adding something fun to do while working on your new habit can remind you to take action because it can become something you look forward to. You might want to limit the amount of time you do these fun things outside of when you are working on your habit. If you have a favorite drink in your hand all day, it might not be that exciting to have another one while you clean up the kitchen. So, try to make it something special that you primarily only do while doing your new habit.

REPLACE A BAD HABIT WITH A GOOD HABIT

If you have a bad habit that you would like to get rid of, see if you can replace it with a good habit. For example, once I started working from home, I started to develop a habit of grabbing something to snack on during my work day when I wasn’t necessarily hungry. All I really needed was a quick break so that I could refocus and get back to work. I really didn’t need snacks, but it was just something to do. When I was in the office, this wasn’t an option, but working at my kitchen table, it became very easy to just get up and get a snack.

In order to break this bad habit, when I got the urge to get up and get a snack, instead I stand up and stretch a little bit. Maybe do a couple of really quick exercises. It is enough to distract me from wanting to get some snacks that I wasn’t really hungry for and gives me a quick mental break so that I can refocus and get back to work. If you have a bad habit you would like to break try to think of something you could do instead. Like with all habit changes, this is not easy. But, having a plan can make it a lot easier in making changes.

HABITS THAT ARE NOT ATTACHED TO A SPECIFIC TIME ARE MORE DIFFICULT

Certain habits are not tied to specific times or actions that happen a certain number of times in a certain period. We might want to change our spending habits or eating habits or how much time we spend on our cell phones. Those are things that do not occur at specific dates and times. If you have trouble with impulse control when it comes to spending, you have to wait until you are in a position where control is required to work on that habit. These types of habits require more effort and mindfulness because we don’t know when we will need to work on changing our habits. Weeks could go by where you might not be in a situation that tempts you to spend.

For these types of goals where there is not really a concrete time or place to practice your habits, it is really important to remind yourself about your intentions before you are put in the situation. Before you go out shopping make it a goal to leave the store with just what you went in for. Don’t go shopping just to go shopping if you know you have trouble with impulse spending. Trying to limit temptations and encourage ourselves prior to being put in situations that cause us to exhibit behaviors that we are looking to change can do a lot to help us improve our habits.

DON’T GIVE UP

Unfortunately, there is no magic answer on how to change habits. If there were, there would not be so many different techniques to help us with making these changes. It is difficult to change habits or implement new ones. But, if you are willing to make a commitment to make a change you can do it. It may take a long time to do, but if you don’t give up, changes are possible. Remember that even if you mess up, it’s still better to restart, than to just give up.

You can always restart right away. Restart the next minute, you don’t have to wait until tomorrow or next Monday to get back to it. The minute you go off track, immediately tell yourself you will start fresh right now. There is no reason to delay getting back on track. You will always be better off restarting now, than giving up because you went back to a bad habit or forgot to do something new.

CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESSES

Make a big deal out of the successes that you have with improving your habits. A habit is easy because it’s something we do without thinking. But changing or creating a new habit is not easy. If you have made steps to positively impact your life by forming new habits that have just become part of your everyday life you should celebrate that. It is difficult work to build new habits and it is difficult to make positive changes in our lives. Good habits are much harder to form than bad ones. If that were not the case, we would not need to work on improving our habits. So, congratulate yourself for your successes no matter how small they might be.

Thanks so much for checking in! If you would like to hear the podcast version of this topic check out Lola’s Frugal Life Podcast! Also, be sure to check out my other blog posts on this site!

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